The father pokes his sleeping son and says:
- Wake up Jim! It's time for you to go to school.
The son answers: - I don't want to go to school.
The father asks: - Why?
-There are three reasons for that - replies Jim - The first: I hate school, the second: it is boring there and the third: the children tease me.
- The father argues:
- I also give you three reasons for going immediately to school. The first: You are grownup. The second: You are 45 years old. The third: You are school principal.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend:
- Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
Watson replies:
- I see millions of stars.
- What does that tell you?
Watson wonders for a minute.
- Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks:
- Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.

A man visits God and says:
- God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
God says:
- No, ask me anything at all.
So the man says:
- God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?
God replies:
- For me, a thousand years is only five minutes.
The man then says:
- That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?
God replies:
- For me, a million dollars is only five cents.
The man says:
- Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents, please?
God looks at the man, smiles, and says:
- Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!

Many hundreds of years ago a king went to see a fortune teller to
see what she could predict about the future.

The fortune teller told the king that one of his wives would die that year.
The king didn't believe her and went away laughing.

Later that year one of the king's wives died.
He remembered what the fortune teller had told him and thought that
she had caused the death of his wife, that she had made it happen.
He decided to put her to death.
He ordered that she be brought before him.

When she was before him he said to her, "A few months ago you
predicted that one of my wives would die this year, and one of them
has died. So you are a fortune teller. Now, tell me - when will you die?"

The fortune teller realised that the king was planning to kill her,
so she thought very carefully before answering, "I will die three days
before you do, your majesty."

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